Hush, Little Bartee, aka The Ballad of Melvin Nieves (Yet Another Contest Post)

[Ed. Note:  You guys/gals are a wonderful lot of humanity.  Really!  Thanks to you, I have advanced to Round No. 3 -- the Elite Eight -- of the Nachos Grande blog contest.  As the 25th-seeded team, and the lowest remaining seed at that, my destiny awaits me this time around.  I will be matching wits with the top overall blogger in the bracket.  A win here and the glass slipper will truly fit!  When the time is appropriate, I will begin stumping for your votes.  In the meantime, here's my Round No. 3 entry, drawing inspiration from the randomly assigned card you see below.]

1997 Score Kimera Bartee (w/Melvin Nieves lurking)

(Sung to the tune of "Hush, Little Baby")

Shhhhh....
Hush, little Bartee, don't say a word, Melvin's gonna bunt you from second to third.
And if that bunt should dribble foul, Melvin's gonna hear his best Buddy growl.
And if that growl becomes a shout, Melvin's gonna try to muscle one out.
And if that muscle should turn to flab, Melvin's gonna have to find the nearest cab.
And if that cab's marked "Toledo", Melvin's going back to Puerto Rico.
And if he's goin' back to San Juan, Melvin's gonna plot revenge on everyone.
And when he gets back to the States, Melvin's gonna rain hell all o'er the place.
So watch out Bartee standing on deck, Melvin's gonna sneak up and snap yo' neck.

Sweet dreams, boys and girls.  And, Go Tigers!

[Ed. Note: Is nothing sacred anymore?  Sorry folks...]